As women, somewhere along the way, we were taught to see each other as competition. For some, maybe our own mothers were competitive with us. Wherever we picked it up, we were taught to believe there wasn’t enough room for all of us at the table. To compare, to measure, to second-guess where we stand in relation to someone else — instead of locking arms and rising together.
But let’s be real — competition is exhausting. Constantly sizing each other up? Worrying about who’s ahead? It’s a lonely, never-ending game that nobody actually wins. And we already compete enough with ourselves. The real secret to thriving in all areas of life isn’t competition. It’s community.
The Power of Having ‘Your People’
There’s something unmatched about a strong circle of women who genuinely have each other’s backs. The kind of friendships where you don’t have to explain yourself. Where you can be a mess, a masterpiece (or, more realistically, somewhere in between), and they’ll love you through it all.
Even better, they’ll hold you accountable. True friends don’t just cheer for you — they challenge you. They tell you the truth, even when it’s hard to hear. And when things fall apart? They’re the first ones in your corner, ready to build you back up.
Meaningful friendships aren’t just about feeling good — they’re a key to success, too. Studies show that women with strong female friendships are more likely to get ahead in their careers, make better life choices and feel more fulfilled overall. Having ‘your people’ changes everything.
How to Build (and Keep) Quality Female Friendships
Not all friendships are created equal. Some are surface-level, some are draining and some are so rare and beautiful they feel like a lifeline. If you want real, deep, life-giving friendships, here’s what matters:
- Be real. Drop the perfection act. Vulnerability is what creates deep connections. If they judge you, they aren’t your people anyway.
- Hype your friends up. Text her when she lands that big opportunity. Show up to support her dreams. Mean it when you say, “I’m so proud of you.”
- Make time. Friendships, like anything valuable, need effort. Don’t let life get too busy to nurture your people.
- Know the difference between healthy competition and toxic comparison. Feeling inspired by a friend? Amazing. Feeling like you need to ‘outdo’ her? Check that.
- Let go of friendships that aren’t serving you. Not every relationship is meant to last forever, and that’s okay. If it’s draining you more than it’s filling you, it’s okay to move on.
At the end of the day, the world doesn’t need more women tearing each other down. It needs more of us lifting each other up. More of us sending the “You’ve got this” texts. More of us pulling up chairs for each other instead of fighting over a single seat.
